Life Interrupted, Again

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I had big hopes for this year. I still do. However, the difference is those hopes have been modified from the impossible, unrealistic ones I had grasped for as I fled 2013, and have reformed as smaller, realistic, and somehow … Read More

Gifts

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Even as my world shrank over the years, it was enriched in many ways through the social networks I developed online. The impact of those social networks on my quality of life cannot be understated. Indeed, it was in one … Read More

Cracking

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It’s been less than two days since my counsellor and Mrs Blackbird both agreed that I need to take a month’s stress leave to buffer my depression, but I already feel like the ice beneath the fine powder of yesterday’s … Read More

Breakdown

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After so many years of battling with depression, it shouldn’t fail to surprise me that I can be so horribly wrong about its power and the lies it tells. I’d like to think that after so many years of fighting … Read More

Taking Stock of Depression

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I didn’t want to be here right now. After a year and a half of hell of dealing with a mental illness that wasn’t my own and dealing with the aftermath of that; of trying to get my abdominal pain … Read More

Chronic Illness and Acceptance

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One of the most difficult things I have encountered recently is not the challenges caused by life situations, or the challenges associated with health problems. The challenges that rock my world are more fundamental ones: ones that don’t require a … Read More

Illness and Loss

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The main symptom of the disaster was the kitchen. For the past four weeks, supplies from the constantly aborted deck painting project mingled with dirty dishes, even though not much food was eaten. Food was a source of rough comfort … Read More

Seronegative and Out of Luck

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On August 21st, I finally got to see my new rheumatologist – some four or so months after the referral was made. I haven’t had a rheumatologist since my first one retired in 2009 – I don’t count the appointment with … Read More

Travelling While Ill

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It was June 25th when I boarded the plane for Australia, where I had spent 30 years of my youth growing up. I hadn’t been there in 14  years. I hadn’t seen members of my family in 13 years (14 … Read More

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