Yesterday morning I felt grounded. I observed that I had moved to give up my fear of falling. I had taken a step toward mastering the shifting ground of my past.

By the evening, the world had fallen down. Pain and self-doubt arose – the nagging fear that something was creeping up on me from that aforesaid past.

In truth, I said what I felt. I meant what I thought. I used my voice.

I worked during the night. I was pleased with the work I got done. Today I paid for it, and the sleep deprivation gave me the worst nightmare I’ve ever had in my life.

Life with an autoimmune disease is a constant game of give and take back.

Yesterday morning I observed that I was okay with the impermanence of the experience of life. That I had begun to appreciate the Buddhist concept of suffering caused by grasping and aversion.

Tonight, I still stand by that. The pain of the day has faded to manageable levels. I sat for a while this evening and created. All is good in my world.

No matter what we go through in this life, this too, shall pass.



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Jane Waterman

Hi, I’m Jane! I create blogs, fiction, art, and adaptive yoga as I seek peace and healing in this strange and sometimes beautiful world. I’ve been chronically ill and probably crazy for 30 years, but I try not to let it stop me!

Please visit the about page to learn more about me and my hopes for this community! If you’d like to support my work, please visit my tip jar at or my ongoing creative projects at



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