Life

posted in: chronic illness | 0

Yesterday morning I felt grounded. I observed that I had moved to give up my fear of falling. I had taken a step toward mastering the shifting ground of my past.

By the evening, the world had fallen down. Pain and self-doubt arose – the nagging fear that something was creeping up on me from that aforesaid past.

In truth, I said what I felt. I meant what I thought. I used my voice.

I worked during the night. I was pleased with the work I got done. Today I paid for it, and the sleep deprivation gave me the worst nightmare I’ve ever had in my life.

Life with an autoimmune disease is a constant game of give and take back.

Yesterday morning I observed that I was okay with the impermanence of the experience of life. That I had begun to appreciate the Buddhist concept of suffering caused by grasping and aversion.

Tonight, I still stand by that. The pain of the day has faded to manageable levels. I sat for a while this evening and created. All is good in my world.

No matter what we go through in this life, this too, shall pass.

Blessings,

Jane

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