Last night I was reading a chapter from Natalie Goldberg’s “Writing Down the Bones”. She encourages us to think often on the reasons why we write. For a long time, technical writing aside, I didn’t write. So, I thought it might be instructive to brainstorm on “why I don’t write” first. My initial tendency is to respond in generalities, so I’ll have to practice another of Goldberg’s suggestions another time: write the details.
Why I don’t write:
- fear that I will run out of words
- fear of not being able to write
- fear of not being able to say what I want to say
- fear that someone will judge what I say
- fear that I will judge what I say
- fear of not finding the right words
- fear that I will not convey my meaning accurately
- fear that people will not understand my meaning
- fear of exposing my soul to the world
- memories of childhood criticism
- memories of my childhood writing friend, whom I don’t write to anymore
- fear that I’m too old and my opportunity to be heard is past
- fear that I’m too young and that I haven’t yet the wisdom to be heard
- fear of criticism
- fear of writing but not being read
- because i have a headache
- because i’m tired
- because i want to sleep
Now I feel ready to say why I write:
- i don’t have a choice – i’ll die if i don’t
- there are words streaming through me and it’s my responsibility to write them down
- i want to be heard
- i want to be visible
- i want to untangle the big mess of thoughts and feelings from the last 45 and a half years
- i want to make a difference
- i want to inspire
- i want to live
Blessings,
Jane
