These are not the colours of my sadness and pain. The colours of the emotions I feel for the younger self I wrote about yesterday. Her sorrows are deep purples and blues, stretching into long twilights, the one searching the stars for one that might assuage her loneliness. Her longings
I’m far away from my first career as a physicist, but not so far that I didn’t learn a few things. In particular, when preoccupied with the search for a theory of everything and being foiled yet again, physicists discover there’s always another level of complexity that they hadn’t considered.
The first month of my personal 365 day blogging project has passed. In some ways, it’s become a deeper creative exploration. I am enjoying painting with the computer immensely. Last night I’d barely drifted off to sleep when pain woke me up again. At 4 am I started painting some
These words are sent out into the world with love and compassion. I dedicate them to my wife and daughters. You are good enough, strong enough and beautiful enough. That doesn’t mean you can’t be tired, scared and vulnerable too. Those feelings are all a part of us. Don’t selectively
No art or photo today, which feels quite strange. I’ve been getting used to creating something, but alas work has taken what energy I have at the moment. Meditation was beautiful this morning. I have been cultivating the feeling of ‘no-thing’ quite successfully lately, but today I experienced quite a
I don’t know if it’s a coincidence after yesterday’s ‘Conflagration’, but today I feel an often experienced need to contract within myself, to draw in closer for protection. Writing and creating and putting myself out there every day is likely a factor in this increased sensitivity, but for the moment
Today was a day of contrasts, and this recent computer painting sums it up – the grieving heart surrounded by the energy of the new, the authentic, and the real. Where ‘real’ stands for anything I believe in, including the beautiful dreamer, and her right to lose herself in visions
I was fortunate to be able to spend some time meditating in a small group this morning. Surrounded by loved ones and safe friends, I felt it grounded me and brought my mind to stillness – freeing me of the “monkey mind” that seemed to accompany yesterday’s pain. I became
Last night’s entry was made in the middle of the night, sometime after I crashed from exhaustion, and before I dragged myself up this morning. I love writing in the middle of the night, if I can do it. It used to be easy, but as anything with age, it
I’m late with this entry because I was and am tired. I fell asleep and woke up past midnight, thanks to one of the dogs needing to go outside. Like last night, I feel strangely out of words. In a few hours, I’ll see my counsellor for a one-on-one for