Shame © 2012 Jane Waterman
Living with invisible illness

Shame

I come to writing today wrung out, hollowed, disappointed, ashamed. I can forgive myself the days that lapsed since my last entry. I sank into the recesses of a cave, and there I went through the motions of life in the grip of a depression so strange I can not

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Eternity © 2004 Jane Waterman
Interior life

Courage to Slow Down

Today was a day of contrasts, and this recent computer painting sums it up – the grieving heart surrounded by the energy of the new, the authentic, and the real. Where ‘real’ stands for anything I believe in, including the beautiful dreamer, and her right to lose herself in visions

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Snow Labyrinth © 2012 Jane Waterman
Healing toolkit

Snow Labyrinth (for Clare)

I made a snow labyrinth in our garden today, in too-thin boots, with my bare arms to the world, while starlings, juncos and red-winged blackbirds chittered in the trees, waiting for me to relinquish their frozen world again. It wasn’t my initial design. I was just taking scraps to the

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Angel #2 © 2012 Jane Waterman
Interior life

What Dreams May Come

I’m late with this entry because I was and am tired. I fell asleep and woke up past midnight, thanks to one of the dogs needing to go outside. Like last night, I feel strangely out of words. In a few hours, I’ll see my counsellor for a one-on-one for

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Interior life

Good and Bad

I wonder why it takes so long to feel compassion for the self? This was a difficult weekend in some ways. Sharing grief with a heart friend, and then joy with another, as she opened a yoga centre. I took part in many activities to foster both personal growth and

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Last Light © 2012 Jane Waterman
Healing toolkit

Walking Meditation

I’ve long known intuitively that walking in nature heals me. I woke late after a morning nap today (on occasion, my body demands further rest after rising, and I’ve learned to listen). I decided to go into the back yard to clean up after our beagles. This is not a

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Healing toolkit

Impermanence

I just returned from a restorative yoga class, and I feel… restored. It had been several weeks since my last class due to the holidays and related chaos. We arrived uncharacteristically early, and I felt anxious as I sat on a bolster, resting against the wall. I had spent a

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Quicksilver River © 2011 Jane Waterman
Interior life

Quicksilver River

Some days there are no words, there are just images that flicker in the darkness. However, even in the eddies of gloom there are such brilliant flashes of light and colour. I have to look a little closer, but find myself entranced, following sparks of light. Many fear darkness, and

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Healing toolkit

Dreaming

I have started reading a startling book called “Radical Acceptance” by Tara Brach. Although by its design and layout it seems quite an unassuming volume, I find myself written all over the pages, and from that standpoint, I call it startling. Early in the book, Brach speaks about the “Trance

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